Thursday, February 25, 2010

Patty Larkin, New Deal, Dj William Projekt, We Are the World 25 review

Not a whole lot going on musically this weekend.

Singer/songwriter Patty Larkin will be at Ashland Coffee & Tea on Saturday night. Tickets are $15 in advance, $20 day of show and the show starts at 8. Here's Patty performing "Dear Heart" in Memphis last week:

Also Saturday, The New Deal performs at The National. Tix are $15 in advance, $18 day of show. Doors open at 7, show starts at 8 with openers That 1 Guy, The Silo Effect and LaBeat.
The New Deal are a jamtronica band which you may like if you like Disco Biscuits, Lake Trout, STS9, or Jamiroquai. Here's a jam from their show in Chicago late last month:

On Tuesday, DJ Willims Projekt has their regular gig at Cafe Diem. The gig starts at 9:30 PM.

Since there is not much going down this weekend, I thought I would take the opportunity to comment on the updated version of "We Are The World". The proceeds are going to Haiti, which is certainly a good thing. But if you want to give, here is the web address for the Red Cross: Please don't buy this song because it is an even bigger piece of overprocessed rancid cheese than the original. Let's break it down, shall we?

The song itself starts about a minute into the clip.

1:32 - We open with that big star....who the f**k is this kid? Does anyone know who this is? I guess if you are a 11 year old girl or parents of an 11 year old girl you might. I don't. I could probably ask my 12 year old niece but I think she is into cooler music than whatever it is this kid sings.
2:06 - I love Tony Bennett. But he doesn't really sing his line as much as read it here. But his fist is clenched so you know he means it.
2:23 - I guess its cool that they threw Michael Jackson's part in this version too. It made me think, "It's too bad he's not alive now....because he could have hooked up with that kid who started the song."
2:29 - This really made me realize how much Janet & Michael looked alike. Its amazing what having the same mother and father and millions to spend on plastic surgery can do.
2:35 - Is that Barbara Streisand? Did she show up a couple days late back in '85 and just hang out until they made the remake?
3:18 - Now Wyclef comes in with his jarring warbling. I don't know if this is supposed to lend Haitian authenticity to this but at least you know they didn't auto-tune him.
3:53 - Ahhhhh! It's Celine Dion! Someone get the eyes and ear wash! I'm tainted! Lionel is digging her though.
4:03 - They put Fergie & Celine together on this part. I beleive that together they create a musical note that opens the sixth seal of hell.
4:20 - This dude is hiding behind the mike and his big hat. I think its Kid Rock. No wait it might be Jason Mraz. No, its that other dude from that band, you know....oh, forget it. You missed your big chance, brother.
4:21 - Is that Gollum in the front row on the right next to Jennifer Hudson? And wtf is Vince Vaughn doing there? He doesn't sing. I guess he is this generation's Dan Aykroyd.
4:52 - Ahhh, there is the auto-tune. I thought auto-tune was over. Isn't T-Pain's 15 minutes about up? Or is that Lil' Wayne? Isn't Lil' Wayne in jail? I gotta get a gold grill.
5:06 - Pink actually wore some clothes to this thing. At least she classed up for this.
5:25 - Fergie wants to hear you. Please go away now, Fergie.
5:29 - Oh wait, that's T-Pain. And more auto-tune. Gotta make this version fresh, Lionel. For the kids.
5:48 - Oh good lord. Jamie Foxx just did his Ray Charles impression. How long can he continue to milk that?
5:53 - Now they could have stopped here. But Quincy and Lionel decided to hip this one up. And so begins our descent into the absurd with a hip-hop breakout.
6:33 - More crazy Wyclef warbling.
7:16 - Kanye West interrupts the song to do a rap wearing some kind of bedazzled flannel shirt. Its like he was thinking, "Hmmm, I want to be a little respectful and humble so I'll just wear a flannel. But wait I'm Kanye and I need people to notice me. So let's add some flair!"

So there you have it all the horrible music trends of the last ten years wrapped up in one overly long song: American Idol, auto-tune, singing comedians, Fergie & Celine, and inappropriate rapping.

I'll leave you with this little ditty to help wash yourself clean after that. This features the Russian version of the 70's David Letterman. But being Russia, I'm not sure if this was made in 1976 or last week. The lyrics to this song are truly inspirational. I promise, you won't be able to look away. Like a car crash. The sad thing is that this is way better then We Are The World 25. If they had put this guy in that, then it would have rocked. Give $10 to Haiti on behalf of this guy.

Have a great weekend!

Tony Jordan