Friday, October 31, 2008

Reduced Price for Nine Inch Nails tix

It looks like the economy is starting to cut into ticket sales. This is the second time in three days I have recieved an announcement regarding reduced ticket prices. Good news for the ticket buying consumer and perhaps we'll see all concert tix coming down in price in the future.

Here is the announcment re: Nine Inch Nails:
NINE INCH NAILS
Special weekend offer from Friday, Oct. 31 @10am until Sunday, Nov. 2 @10pm tickets for Nine Inch Nails are only $10.60 (plus service charges and fees).

This offer is only valid in specific sections and not valid on previously purchased tickets or in combination with any other discounts or special offers. Ticket limit is 8.

John Paul Jones Arena Charlottesville, VA November 5, 2008 @ 7:00 PM

Tickets for this special offer may be purchased online at www.johnpauljonesarena.com, by phone at 1-888-JPJ-TIXS (575-8497), in person at the John Paul Jones Arena box office or by visiting any of the Plan 9 Music outlets listed below.

Select Plan 9 Music outlets (for locations and hours click here.) -
Charlottesville: 214 Albemarle Sq - in the Albemarle Sq Shopping Center -
Richmond: 3012 W Cary St - in Carytown -
Harrisonburg: 1790-96 East Market St - in the Kroger Shopping Center -
Williamsburg: 200 M Monticello -
Roanoke: 1314 Grandin Rd - Grandin Village -
Lynchburg: 3700 Candler's Mt Rd Suite 200

Charlottesville Albemarle Convention & Visitors Bureau (within the Transit Station) Downtown Visitor Center 610 East Main St Charlottesville VA 22902

Crossroads Music & Movies:
Staunton - 856 Statler Blvd
Waynesboro - 117 Lew Dewitt BlvdM

Thursday, October 30, 2008

PHILS WIN!, Carbon Leaf, Lotus, Ratdog, The Bridge

Oh, man, this will be kind of short tonight. I am tired from a night last night unlike any night I've had in 28 years. Yes, my Phillies finally made it to the top of the heap for the first time since 1980. Little did I know when I was watching them win it in '80 with my parents that the next time I saw them win it all, I would be a parent watching with my wife and son. But that's how long it took. I jumped and danced around like a madman, letting out whoops and hugging and kissing my wife and son (and the cat). Then I stayed up until almost 12 drinking a few victory beers, calling friends and family members, watching all the post-game interviews and that great final strike over and over again. I wanted to savor it for as long as possible just in case it takes another 28 years.

Onto this week's music. If you are looking for something to do on Halloween night, you can head to Toad's Place to see the Haunted Halloween Party with Carbon Leaf. Tix are $20 and doors open at 8. Carbon Leaf is a great band from right here in Richmond and they have achieved some national exposure. They are always fun to see. You'll dig them if you like stuff like REM, The Waterboys, Psychedelic Furs, Dave Matthews Band, Rusted Root and David Gray.

At the Canal Club on Halloween night is The Bridge. Tix are $10 and the show starts at 9:30. These guys hail from Baltimore and have started to make a name for themselves on the festival scene. They are a bluesy jam band and what I've heard sounds pretty good.

If you are at home for Halloween, you can check out Widespread Panic's Halloween gig on a live webcast from UNO Lakefront Arena in New Orleans on iclips.net. The show will get underway at 9:15 PM.

On Saturday, head down to the Brunswick Stew Festival at the 17 St Farmers Market for to sample the yummy stews and beverages (adult and otherwise). That's FREE and goes from 11 AM to 4 PM.

On Saturday, hip indie band Of Montreal plays at The National. Doors at 8, show at 9 and tix are $18. This theatrical, indie psychedelic pop band is being compared to David Bowie on the most recent issue of Paste magazine. Here's what a recent review on blog Muzzle of Bees had to say: "Kevin Barnes (lead singer) is officially my newest hero. Not only does he have incredibly sexy dance moves with his hops and skips, but the dude’s got a set of lungs on him that can out-howl the wildest beast. He looks damn good in hot-pants and has got some pretty extravagantly freaky visions. Who the hell else can get away with leaping out of a coffin full of shaving cream, being escorted on stage in a golden prison carried by a pack of buddahs, singing in the midst of a self-executed hanging, and meanwhile never losing a beat skipping amongst children, ninjas, soldiers and creepy animal people? "

On Sunday at the National, Lotus will play with doors opening at 8 and tickets $12 in advance, $15 at the door. Lotus plays atmospheric, jazzy indie pop (if that makes any sense). You might dig them if you like Sound Tribe Sector 9, Disco Biscuits or Air.

On Monday, Bob Weir of the Grateful Dead comes to the National with his band, Ratdog. Doors open at 7, show starts at 8 (no opener!) and tix are $30. As a Deadhead in good standing, I would usually go to this show however I will probably pass this time due to lack of funds. Its not like I haven't seen the Dead or their various offshoot solo bands probably upwards of 100 times now, so I can miss one.

But if I'm home I will be watching the Headcount "Get Out The Vote" Concert live webcast on iclips.net. Robert Randolph, ?uestlove (The Roots) and Stanton Moore (Galactic) will share the stage with musicians like Joe Russo and Marco Benevento of The Duo, Chris Barron of The Spin Doctors, Dave Dreiwitz of Ween, Reid Genauer of Assembly of Dust, Tom Hamilton and Scott Metzger of American Babies, and Aron Magner and Marc Brownstein of The Disco Biscuits. Should be a great show and the webcast starts at 8 PM.

Hopefully that will get you all psyched up to vote on Tuesday. Not only do we get to pick a new president but Tuesday means the end of candidate commercials and the end of what seems like a two-year campaign.

Have a HAPPY HALLOWEEN and a great weekend!

Tony Jordan

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Cheap tix for Man Man

Check out the offer on Ticketmaster for Buy One, Get One Free tix for Man Man at the National tomorrow night (10/30): http://www.ticketmaster.com/event/0100410DDCA86E93?dma_id=369.

This essentially makes the ticket price $6.25 each.

I've caught these guys a few times on some of the festival webcasts and they are definitely a trip. Here's what the National site says about them: "Man Man is quickly becoming legendary for its live shows, which feature the band playing a whirlwind of songs that flow seamlessly from one to the other on a jumble of swapped instruments and found objects while fans--clad in real and fake mustaches, war paint and white clothes--rock out."

If you like Tom Waits, Frank Zappa or other theatrical, experimental rock bands, you'll probably like these guys.

Thursday, October 23, 2008

10 Commandments of Concert Behavior

Found this great blog(s) regarding the "10 Commandments of Concert Behavior". I couldn't agree more specifically with Number IX. And as far as I know, I have only violated one. http://myoldkyhome.blogspot.com/search/label/10%20commandments

I got the Commandments link from one of my favorite blogs, the Live Music Blog. Check it out.

Tony Jordan

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Trey Anastasio, Rev. Peyton's Big Damn Band, Roger McGuinn and more

Good evening. This looks like the biggest weekend muscially in Richmond in a long time, at least as far as the clubs are concerned.

Richmond blues guitarist Terry Garland plays at Toad's Place's Wednesday on the Water series. Show starts at 6 PM and is FREE.

Thursday night at Toad's is Conspirator featuring members of the Disco Biscuits. Here is what the Toad's site says about them: "Featuring Disco Biscuits' Marc Brownstein and Aron Magnor, Conspirator has quickly made a name for themselves in the Psy-trance scene. Getting their feel from their jam/funk counterpart, Marc and Aron recruited long time friend Omen to help create this Trance-Fusion supergroup." Doors are at 8 PM and tix are $22.

Reverend Peyton's Big Damn Band bring their southern gutbucket blues to the Capital Ale House on Friday night. Doors open at 9:30 and tix are $8 in advance and $10 the day of the show. Here's what the Capital Ale House site says about them: "The Rev. Peyton swings country blues like a velvet hammer, its impact cloaked in rural tones and a timeless simplicity. Yet in an unassuming folk/Americana way, Reverend Peyton is capable of riling the same beast he soothes. It is this type of raw and immediate blues that addresses the human urge directly. It is this type of blues that justifies and chronicles the human condition. It is this type of blues that, in all its secular glory, can move the spirit, no matter how weak the flesh." And you have to like a band that has a song called "Your Cousin's on Cops"

If you want to sample Reverend Peyton's Big Damn Band for free, you can check them out at Plan 9 in Carytown on Friday night when they do a FREE in-store performance at 6 PM.

If you prefer your guitar work a little slicker, guitar wizard Joe Satriani will be at The National on Friday. The opener will be Mountain ("Mississippi Queen"). Doors at 7, show at 8. Seating is mostly reserved for this show with Orchaestra Gold Circle $75. Orchestra $45, Balcony $35, Standing General Admission $25.

And if you want to swing, Squirrel Nut Zippers will be at Toad's Place. Doors open at 8, tix are $18.50 in advance and $22 day of show.

Saturday night at the National, once and future Phish guitarist, Trey Anastasio brings his other band in for two sets of music. Doors open at 7 PM, show at 8 and tix are $35.50. Seeing as how the Phish comeback shows at Hampton in March sold out in about 2 minutes, this may be as close as you get to Trey for a while. Unless you want to spend $700 on ebay for a pair of tix for a Hampton show.

While checking over the last few days to see if any Phish tix magically appear, I realized that you can come up with some good band names from the two seemingly random words that Ticketmaster makes you type in to prove you aren't an automated ticket buying program. I just checked for tix (still none) and got these two potential band names, "Upsilon Beach" and "Curve Millie". I kind of like Upsilon Beach. Sounds like a good prog-rock band.

Also Saturday night, head Byrd, Roger McGuinn, flies into the Glen Allen Cultural Arts Center. Tickets are $35 and the show starts at 7.

Finally, when you are at home this weekend, check out The VooDoo Experience festival live webcast from New Orleans on iclips.net. They haven't posted a schedule yet but things should run from 11:15 AM until midnight on Friday, Saturday & Sunday. They have an excellent lineup including (no guarantees on who you will see on iclips) Stone Temple Pilots, Nine Inch Nails, REM, Lil Wayne, Erykah Badu, Joss Stone, Wyclef Jean, Grace Potter & The Nocturnals, Zydepunks, Man Man, Mars Volta, Ivan Neville's Dumpstaphunk, Fishbone, Walter "Wolfman" Washington, Marc Broussard, Treme Brass Band, N*E*R*D, Lupe Fiasco, Butthole Surfers, Sharon Jones & Dap Kings, Cowboy Mouth, Blind Boys of Alabama, Preservation Hall Jazz Band, Dirty Dozen Brass Band, The Lee Boys, and the ever popular much, much more. You'll also be able to see highlights on FuseTV on Monday night at 8 PM.

That's it for me, have a great weekend and

GO PHILLIES!!!!

Tony Jordan

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Joe Bonamassa, Zoso, Sheryl Crow, Broken Social Scene

Hope you all enjoyed your weekend. We spent two great days at the Folk Fest enjoying the music, the kids and the beautiful weather.

Wednesday night at The National, blues guitarist Joe Bonamassa plays. Doors at 7, show at 8 and tix are $30. I saw Joe when he was 15 or 16 and playing in a band called Bloodline with Berry Oakley Jr. (son of the Allman Brothers bassist), Robbie Krieger's (guitarist for the Doors) son Waylon, and Miles Davis' son Erin. I remember thinking then that he was technically very good but seemed to be more interested in soloing than playing as a member of the band. However, that was 16 years ago and all the reviews indicate that he has matured into an excellent blues player. He should definitely be worth checking out.

Since it doesn't look like the Led Zeppelin reunion will be happening any time soon, if at all, you might want to see Zoso, the Led Zep tribute band. They'll be at the National on Friday night. Doors open at 7, show is at 8, tix are only $12. I am somewhat ambivalent about an actual Zep reunion. While I have no doubt they would be excellent (I saw Page/Plant and liked it so much I went back the next night), I just think the tour would be so huge, with so much hype that tix would be so expensive, certainly more than I would be willing to spend and then I would just be bummed that I couldn't see them.

Sheryl Crow comes to the VCU Siegel Center on Saturday night. The show starts at 8 PM and tickets run from $35 to $125. You may think that a bit pricey but this is a benefit show for the Genworth Children's Advantage Classic. All proceeds benefit the following local youth charities: Big Brothers Big Sisters, Boys & Girls Club of Metro Richmond, Communities In Schools, FRIENDS Association for Children, Richmond Ballet - Minds In Motion, VirginiaFIRST, and the William Byrd Community House. My friend, Mike, has scored VIP tix and may meet Sheryl. I told him to give her my number in case she wants to hang out after the show. Mike, I will have my cell phone ready.

P.S. - Did you know that Lite 98 cuts out the line "I like a good beer buzz early in the morning" when they play Sheryl Crow's first hit, "All I Wanna Do"? Lite 98 sucks.

Broken Social Scene play at Toad's Place on Tuesday night (10/21). Doors open at 8 and tix are $15 in advance and $20 at the door. Here's what the Toad's site says about them: "If there’s ever been a definition of what a supergroup is, Broken Social Scene surely fits the bill. The 15+ members credited in the band also contribute to numerous other successful bands or solo projects, including: Fiest, Metric, Apostle of Hustle, Do Make Say Think, Jason Collett, American Analog Set, and Stars, just to name a few. BSS is well known for an almost chaotic composition of music influenced by the eclectic backgrounds of the musicians, but to most the soundscape they create is nothing short of masterful, beautiful, and fun."

Time for another segment in my "Tony Remembers the Philadelphia Spectrum" series. Friday, September 14, 1984, Bruce Springsteen & The E Street Band on the Born In The USA tour. (Tickets were just $16!) I went with my parents and my friend, Dave. We had seats on the side/rear of the stage in the second level. I got into Bruce about a year earlier, a short while prior to the release of Born In The USA. The first thing that struck me about the show was the length of the show. I remember the first set being over and already feeling I had got my money's worth (er, well, my parent's money's worth). The other thing that struck me was the connection Bruce and the band had with the fans. This was unlike anything I had seen in my previous shows. People on their feet almost the whole show, singing along and Bruce and the band pushing everything up, up, up, up. I got my own little taste late in the second set during Jungleland.

My friend, Dave, & I, went to the bottom of the second level and sat along the rail for most of the second set. This being a looser time, security didn't care as long as we weren't in the aisle. Bruce would roam all around the stage as he still does and during Clarence's sax solo, he walked around the back of the stage, getting the crowd to pump their fists with the beat. He walked right over to the corner Dave & I were hanging from and I think he looked right up at us and made that connection, even in a room full of 18,000 people. I became a Bruce fan forever on that night. I remember leaving The Spectrum at about 12:30 AM, elated and exhausted. That has since been the feeling I look for in all great Bruce shows and all great shows in general.

Here's the setlist. I've got this show on CD and the show is as great as the setlist looks:
BORN IN THE USA / PROVE IT ALL NIGHT / OUT IN THE STREET / ATLANTIC CITY / OPEN ALL NIGHT / MY FATHERS HOUSE / I'M GOING DOWN / DARLINGTON COUNTY / GLORY DAYS / THE PROMISED LAND / POINT BLANK / DARKNESS ON THE EDGE OF TOWN / BADLANDS / THUNDER ROAD / HUNGRY HEART / DANCING IN THE DARK / CADILLAC RANCH / 10TH AVENUE FREEZE OUT / NO SURRENDER / I'M ON FIRE / COVER ME / GROWIN' UP / BOBBY JEAN / RACING IN THE STREET / ROSALITA / JERSEY GIRL / JUNGLELAND / BORN TO RUN / DETROIT MEDLEY / TWIST AND SHOUT - DO YOU LOVE ME
Audience tape - features Miami Horns on 10th Ave, and the last two encores.

Have a great weekend!

Tony Jordan

Friday, October 10, 2008

Sheryl Crow, Jack Johnson, Beastie Boys, Santogold, and Norah Jones coming to Richmond Colisuem

See VA, it pays to be a battleground state. I just saw this announcement. Coming to Richmond Coliseum on Tuesday, October 28 is Sheryl Crow, Jack Johnson, Beastie Boys, Santogold, and Norah Jones for Get Out The Vote '08. Tickets go on sale on Saturday, October 11 and are only $35. Here is the link to Ticketmaster: http://www.ticketmaster.com/event/0100414896D8284E.



They'll also be doing the following shows:

Nov 1 St. Paul, MN - Roy Wilkins Auditorium: Beastie Boys/Ben Harper/Tenacious D
Nov 2 Milwaukee, WI - U.S. Cellular Arena: Beastie Boys/Ben Harper/Crosby & Nash/Tenacious D
They plan on announcing more shows soon.

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Folk Fest, Buckethead, Danzig, Sam Bush, Wailers and more...

A big music weekend here in Richmond so let's jump right in.





Even if your 401K has been decimated and you are now eating Ramen noodles every night for dinner, you can still go to the Richmond Folk Festival because its FREE! Last year was the last of three years for the National Folk Festival's stay in Richmond but Richmond will try and keep the tradition going. (Is it a tradition if its only been four years? Discuss.) As of Wednesday night, the weather looks like it will be beautiful (70s and mostly sunny) so that won't stop you.



For those of you that haven't gone to any of the previous ones, the Folk Festival is held down at the Brown's Island. Click here: http://www.richmondfolkfestival.org/ for all the event info and schedules and bios on the bands. Most bands play at multiple times on multiple days so there are multiple times to see them. Do the math.



Some of my picks:


- Vieux Farka Toure - Saharan blues. Son of Saharan blues legend Ali Farka Toure.


- Dan Tyminski Band - Bluegrass. Dan is in Allison Krauss' band, Union Station. He was also the singing voice of George Clooney (Everett of the Soggy Bottom Boys) in "O Brother Where Art Thou".


- Beausoleil avec Michael Doucet - Cajun. Beausoleil is a great band who will get your butt movin' one minute (Rolling Stone once called them "the best damn dance band you'll ever hear"), then sing a weeper which is somehow doubly sad because he sings it in Cajun. I believe they also sing some stuff in English just in case you don't know Cajun/French.


- The Itals. Reggae.


- Dale Watson. Honky-tonk country.


- E.U. Go-go dance music from DC. Not sure if this is folk music, but it may be worth it just to see a bunch of white, folky types try to dance to "Da Butt".



Part of the fun is also just to walk around and check out the music from around the world. One year we stumbled upon a kick-ass Bulgarian gypsy band. No kidding.



There is also a Family Stage with stuff for the kids, workshops, crafts, food and beer & wine. Just to clarify, the beer & wine isn't at the Family Stage but is throughout the fesitval. Though if you have kids, it might be good to have beer & wine for the parents at the Family Stage. Just a thought, Folk Fest people.



We're going to try and get down there on Saturday & Sunday. Hope to see you there.



As for paid events, the intriguing combination of Sam Bush (new grass) and the Original Wailers (of Bob Marley fame) play at The National on Thursday night. Doors open at 7, show starts at 8 and tix are only $20. Sam says on his site "Three great shows this week in Virginia as Sam and the band co-headline their first shows with the newly reformed Original Wailers. Anyone who has followed Sam and the guys through the years know that Sam is a big Bob Marley fan and has often included his music in his shows. This is a great musical match and will be a great evening of music." The National web site says "Each band will play a full set and will play an extended jam session together to end the show." So you are guaranteed to get some cross-pollination that should be very cool. Even though I won't be able to make it, I will have to search out a recording to hear the jam session.



Friday night, Galactic bring their New Orleans funk/R&B/rap/jam thang to Toad's Place. Doors open at 8 and tix are $22.



Saturday, jam band Perpetual Groove come to The National. Doors open at 8, show starts at 9, tix are $16.



Monday night, muscly heavy metal guy Danzig comes to Toad's. Doors open at 6 and tix are $30. You'll get four other bands too so its a bargain. I'm pasting in the poster because its close to Halloween.

Also, if you want to read an interesting story about Danzig check out "The Night the Lights Went Out On Danzig" from Crawdaddy online magazine.



















Finally, Buckethead is playing at The National on Tuesday night. Who is Buckethead you ask? Well, no one really knows for sure. He wears a Michael Myers (from Halloween) mask and a KFC bucket on his head when he plays. You must check out his web site, Bucketheadland. Very twisted. OK, well people do know who he really is but its more fun to pretend we don't. Buckethead is a killer guitarist who has played with Guns N' Roses (Axl-only version), Les Claypool, Bootsy Collins, Bernie Worrell, Iggy Pop, and Serj Tankian. Ozzy Osbourne said "He plays like a motherf**ker" but Ozzy found him too weird to let him join his band. Let me repeat that, Ozzy f**kin' Osbourne found him to be too weird after only a couple hours with him. So you know this will be a good show. Doors open at 7, show starts at 8, tix are $23.

Have a great weekend and I'll see you at the Folk Festival.

Tony Jordan

Monday, October 6, 2008

Richmond in the 50's

The Library of VA has posted some very cool pictures of Richmond life in the 1950s on www.flickr.com/commons (click on the Library of Virginia logo. Its the multicolored book looking thing under the Smithsonian logo). Some of my favorites include the Byrd Airport terminal in '56, a school Valentine dance, a country band, an aerial view of Parker Field (?), a Richmond Dept. of Public Works display at a show at the Mosque telling people how to keep their fence nice and neat and many other cool shots. Also check to see the aerial view of Broad & Staples Mill and there is nothing there.

Here is the LVA's press release:
An exciting new exhibition, Richmond by Rice, opens at the Library of Virginia on October 6, 2008 and runs through January 3, 2009. The exhibition features a selection of images from the Adolph B. Rice Photograph Collection documenting Richmond in the 1950s.

A prolific photographer and active member of the Virginia Professional Photographers Association, Rice maintained a commercial studio in Richmond for more than a decade. His assignments ranged from studio portraits, to aerial views to advertising shots for local department stores.

While individual images from the Rice collection have occasionally appeared in publications and exhibitions, it was not until recently that a large percentage of the 16,000 negatives in the collection were printed for study and use by the general public. The Library has exact dates for many of the photographs, but most of the individuals and places featured in Rice’s images remain unknown. In addition to the exhibition, the Library will also take its place alongside such institutions as the Library of Congress, the Powerhouse Museum (Australia), and Bibliotheque de Toulouse (France) by making a selection of its photographs available to millions worldwide through the online photo-sharing Web site Flickr. Putting Adolph Rice’s photographs on Flickr offers history enthusiasts the chance to help identify and provide captions for the photographs. “Sometimes solutions come from unexpected places,” said Dale Neighbors, coordinator of prints and photographs at the Library. “We need help identifying these Richmond photographs taken in the 1950s. By using Flickr we’re hoping to harness the power of the crowd. Everyone can contribute their individual knowledge about Richmond history and together we can accomplish something we would never do otherwise.”
The Library invites the public to identify the images and provide captions for the more than 200 Rice Studio photographs on Flickr. Log on to "The Commons" www.flickr.com/commons, click on the Library of Virginia logo, and see if you recognize scenes of Richmond from 50 years ago.

Thursday, October 2, 2008

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Hard Rock Park, Black Crowes, Okkervil River

Gettin' back on the blog horse here. I was away last week, travelling to San Antonio for a conference. The hotel was on Riverwalk so I hung out there each night. Obviously, its a bit touristy though they have avoided having cheesy t-shirt shops and neon signs. Enjoyed sitting at a table by the river and watching the people/ducks/tour boats go by while enjoying a fine margarita or two. Went looking for live music in the Riverwalk and Downtown area on my last night there on Wednesday and all I found was a terrible classic rock cover band at Dick's Last Stand on the Riverwalk. It was three guys who seemed like they had decided to start a band the day before. Dick's actually had a decent band there on our first night, Sunday. It was a funk/blues/classic rock band and the singer and guitarist were very good. If you ever go to Riverwalk, be sure to walk north, away from the tourist stuff. Its a beautiful walkway along the river and I went for some nice walks there on Tuesday and Wednesday evenings.

Anyway, onto this week's music. At the National on Saturday night, is Okkervil River. Okkervil River play a folk/indie rock kind of thing. Doors open at 7, show starts at 8, tix are $16 in advance, $18 day of show.

At the National on Tuesday & Wednesday, The Black Crowes come to town. The new album "Warpaint" has been getting great reviews. I saw them last August and they were excellent, mixing bluesy jams with some of the hits you know and love. I totally recommend them. I will unfortunately have to miss them as we are currently trying to save some $, unless someone wants to give me a free ticket (hint, hint). Bums me out, but I gots to do, what I gots to do. I believe Howlin' Rain is opening and their psychedelic heavy blues rock is worth checking out. Doors open at 7 both nights, show starts at 8 and tix are $35.50.

Other events you may want to check out this weekend:
First Fridays Art Walk - Friday (duh)
2nd St. Festival - Friday through Sunday
Richmond Italian Festival - Sat. & Sunday
Carytown Wine Festival - Sunday

Check out the Weekly Rant for more stuff to do.

In case you missed it, the first rock n' roll theme park, Hard Rock Park in Myrtle Beach filed for Chapter 11 after just one year. When I first saw the plans for this a few years ago, I thought it would be really cheesy. Then, I saw the Led Zeppelin roller coaster and I thought it might be cool. Then I saw the rest of the attractions and knew it would be cheesy. A kids section with giant teddy bears kind of dressed like Kiss? Creepy. A punk rock moon bounce? GG Allin is rolling in his grave. A ride based on an acid trip? OK, that might be cool if you were high, but I wondered, if you took acid and went on the ride would it be more intense or would the real acid trip and the simulated acid trip cancel each other out and make things appear normal?

However, I thought I would try to help them out and suggest some new attractions guaranteed to bring in those fickle tourists.

- A companion to the Nights in White Satin: The Trip ride: the Sid Vicious Heroin Experience. Travel through ghettos while trying to score. Don't get stabbed by those crazy junkies! Enough toilets so everyone can puke! Lie around on a skanky bed in a crappy hotel room with a 40-year-old hooker who's missing a few teeth for hours, lost in an opiate oblivion.

- The Keith Moon Cadillac Flume. Hop in a car that looks like a vintage 1967 Cadillac. Travel through out your American tour, from one drunken party to another. Finally take the exciting plunge into the Holiday Inn pool and get banned from the hotel chain for life!

-Yacht Rock Lagoon Cruise. Cruise to the soft rock sounds of Kenny Loggins, Michael McDonald, Christopher Cross, the Doobies and Steely Dan. Not too exciting but strangely satisfying and the the ride will stick in your head for weeks to come.

- Some new restaurants
-- Jerry Garcia's Pies of The World. "Wake up to find out that you are at Pies of the World / We've got blueberry and apple and also key lime."
-- Mama Cass' Hamaganza. Mmmmm. Ham sandwiches. And Heimlich Maneuver posters prominently displayed on every wall.

-Some new carnival games
--Keith Richards TV Drop. Hit the bullseye from 12 stories up and win a stuffed syringe for your honey.
--Record Industry Shoot 'Em Up. Shoot lawsuits at the housewives and college kids who illegally downloaded the latest Jack Johnson song. Ruin there lives for a guy they won't even be listening to in five years.

Have a great weekend.

Tony Jordan